Personal Development through Thinking

Fifth week (and penultimate week)

Did you find yourself getting agitated throughout last week by the fact that in last weeks summary I slipped in h) Prepare yourself for quitting in week 5? It is important to assess your reaction. Was it as strong as in the beginning? Was it less? If it was less then great but if it was the same or more, think about why? It might be worth going to week 1 again because remember the week numbers are unimportant, just guides. You have not failed anything because the process is to help change your thinking and that is a continual process. Congratulate yourself for realising you need more time. Or, congratulate yourself for going on even if you do feel the same amount of anxiety.

What did your writing reveal about your smoking habits? Did you find that your stress levels were higher at the times you needed to smoke? Or, was it more about a nice, relaxing time? Are those times really stressful and what can you do to change them? When relaxing what about smoking a cigarette made it more relaxing other than just the habit? If you kept to the suggestion on halving your cigarettes that is fantastic and well done! If you smoked more than the amount you divided for the day then fantastic, well done. If you smoked the same amount as before and found it difficult then fantastic, well done for trying, and what can you do? Try this stage again without any word of failure because there is nothing to fail. You have not ruined the stages because they have no hard and fast rules. Think back to the climbing analogy and see yourself looking for a good, firm place for your foot before moving on.

How did it make you feel to see all those cigarettes in the container? Did you feel sickened and ashamed? Ok, but think about it in another way. If we were to collect the wrappers, bottles, boxes of anything we indulge in we would probably be shocked. Did you laugh at the amount and make jokes? The task of placing the cigarette ends in an open container was not to shame, disgust or make you feel guilty. Remember that we work from the other side, to make concrete the habit, and that is all it was for. Habits die hard and until we can really focus on them we cannot change them.

I am hoping by this time that you are really aware of your feelings about smoking, the times you smoke, and the anxiety you feel. All this knowledge about the habit is useful and empowering. I should also add that by using the term ‘habit’ there is no implication of weakness. We, human beings, all have habits that give our lives meaning. Some we are quite happy to keep and others we want to stop and many we are simply not aware of - until that helpful partner points them out. Now we move into our fifth stage and another difficult one. Oh, by the way, throw away the cigarette ends you have kept on display.

I would like you to pick a day in the next seven days when you will not smoke at all. Again, make it the easiest of your days and the most active. Focus on the fact you are giving up smoking while smoking. I want you to take a pack of cigarettes for that day and keep them in your pocket with your lighter. You might think I am being sadistic by asking you to keep the cigarettes with you but that’s not my purpose, and nor is it to test your will power. You may smoke one cigarette in the morning (as early as possible) and one in the evening (not the usual time). I want your concentration to be on the midday cigarette. Think about smoking a cigarette at lunchtime after your lunch. All morning after your first cigarette concentrate all your thoughts and feelings on that midday cigarette. Really think about it and how you will feel smoking it. What is happening to you? Do you really need a cigarette right now? Try to resist as long as you can but focus on that one cigarette and have it when you have to. What is going on in your body when you think of smoking? Are you really craving it or has it lessened?

There is no particular level you should be at now so don’t think that your craving should have lessened. ‘Shoulds’ take us into the language of success and failure. The only good one is why should I ’should.’ I must state again that everything we are doing is focusing on the habit and its control over us. When you have smoked the midday cigarette I want you to think about how it really felt to smoke it. Was it as rewarding as you thought it would be or was there more reward in the anticipation of that midday cigarette? Hopefully, you will,or have already discovered, the importance of our attitudes towards smoking. We can increase and decrease the desire mentally (evidenced by the midday cigarette). Unfortunately, the habit keeps us continually thinking about increasing the desire rather than the opposite, which is what we are trying to do here. I have not forgotten the physical side of addiction but that will be discussed in the final week, week 6.

Remember, there is one more week after this one. You are nearly ready to go and do what you want to do. Now it is time to think about no more cigarettes. It is time to really put into overdrive the benefits YOU have defined for giving up smoking. Forget all the shock tactic information out there about your health, appearance, etc. Think about your reasons and only your reasons for ending this addiction. So, to summarise:

Week 5

a) Continue giving up for 1 hour a day
b) Keep your cigarettes in packs of 10
c) Pick a day to give up smoking. Have 1 cigarette in the morning and 1 in the evening focusing you thoughts on the midday cigarette (which you can have).
d) Keep your cigarettes in your pocket with a lighter or matches.
e) Keep thinking about every cigarette you are smoking
f) Prepare yourself for quitting after week 6
I) Don’t slip into failure and success language
j) Never start chastising yourself, if you do, challenge the voice. Be kind to yourself. (You are on a journey or self-realisation)