Personal Development through Thinking

Week 6 (and final week)

Well done for getting here.
Ok, what happened keeping the cigarettes in your pocket? Did you find yourself taking another 1,2 or perhaps 3? Did you find yourself thinking I can never do this? I cannot quit? Then you have slipped into that language of failure and success. The point of all this is that you wanted to give up. Slipping into a language governed by thinking informed by previous attempts to stop smoking will make you feel guilty, and hopeless. You might also be telling yourself that perhaps you did not really want to quit. This is sometimes a way of dealing with feelings of inadequacy.

Stop! No kicking yourself for smoking a few, or the same amount of cigarettes as before and not being able to follow my suggestions. This will take you into the not quitting ever again or at least not for another year mode. Think about how the addiction holds you. Think about your craving and what the lack of cigarettes does. Think about yourself with kindness and don’t think about the addiction as self-inflicted. Try to separate yourself from the socially manipulative information out there about smokers.

Have you ever thought how addictive running anti-smoking campaigns might be? I can hear cries of ‘it’s not the same!’ The vociferous application of ones energies to a cause can give an individual a real sense of self. It can sometimes become the reason for being part of the cause rather than the cause itself. How many times have you read or heard about a radical having lost the real purpose behind a cause? Let’s just say, culturally, at this time smoking is frowned upon. But Opium dens were quite popular once upon a time.
Medical knowledge has shown us the harms of smoking, drinking, breathing and eating. How many people who have done this kind of research do you think were smokers? Simply because we are presented with a bunch of facts it does not necessarily follow that our attitudes towards something will change. And, perhaps more importantly, we cannot overlook the physical urge to smoke.

That physical urge to smoke can manifest itself in different ways when we try to stop. Some common ones are feeling hungry, being bad-tempered, and feeling sick. Then, when you smoke because you cannot stand the feeing quitting gives you, you can feel dizzy, but the symptoms of withdrawal have gone. How can you combat the desire to smoke with the desire to quit? The first thing to accept is that you are going to experience withdrawal symptoms.

What to do when you feel those symptoms is be busy. It does not matter what it is but be busy. Clean the house from top to bottom, repair the car, lift weights, go jogging, learn to cook, or start painting, but keep yourself occupied and use whatever else you can find that will help you get through it. And, always, always, mentally reinforce the reasons why you want to quit. If a stressful situation arises, which is the cause of many people starting to smoke again, think about how much stress quitting smoking has caused you. Never forget to remind yourself that quitting is something you want to do, and simply because you are smoking a cigarette right now does not change that fact. Don’t, whatever the media, Doctors, or campaigners tell you, start looking at yourself as a failure because this just strengthens your resolve not to continue trying to break the habit. How many times do you repeat ‘I can’t do it!’ This process has been about saying ‘Yes, I can do it, but my way and in my time!’

Now onto the final week (or more if needed).
You should still have your cigarettes in packs of 10. Now is the time to take approximately half what you smoke for 7 days and divide them over the next 7. Buy all the cigarettes you need for the 7 days if you can so you are no longer going to the store for them each day. If you cannot afford to do that then ask someone else (whom you trust not to be judgemental) to get them for you. Each day reduce the remaining cigarettes by a factor that leaves you with only a few on that final day. So, if you smoke 50 a day you will now have 30 for the first day, 25 for the second, 20 for the third, 15 for the fourth, 10 for the fifth, and 5 for the final day. On the last day when you smoke that last cigarette try to avoid saying to yourself ‘that’s it, you are my last one, I am never going to smoke again.’ Does that sound a little odd?

The reason behind trying to avoid this kind of language is to avoid the feeling of failure should you be driven to lighting another cigarette. Yes, reinforce the reasons why you want to quit but never reinforce the feelings of failure. As I said before come from the other side. For example, suppose you manage a day, or two days, or a week and for some reason you start smoking again. What will you tell yourself? All the messages of failure will return and you will tell yourself there is no point to trying again. This method for quitting is not perfect as no method is, but it offers you the chance to go through the procedure again and again until you reach your goal. You are able to tell yourself ‘Wow, I managed 10 hours, a day, a week, a month, I am getting there!’

Avoid that circular reasoning at all costs which might go something like this: ‘I am going to quit! I have followed the programme (whichever one you are following). I will stop on Monday. Oh, I don’t believe it, I have only lasted till Monday afternoon. I cannot quit what’s the point!’ Adapting some of the ideas I have presented here to your situation can help you get there without losing sight of your goal or kicking yourself. So what, you are smoking, keep going with the method. Don’t reply to that ‘it’s ok for you to say so what but I want to quit and I cant!’ If you do, you are reinforcing ideas of failure and all the guilt that can go with that expression. Move on for yourself, and at your own pace, because you have not failed anything. Guilt, by the way, can be felt towards ourselves.

You are trying to break an addiction and that is no easy thing to do, but you will get there eventually. If you want, you can take a chance now and tell everyone that you are going to stop smoking, BUT, tell them part of the plan is for them to keep their judgements to themselves as the stages of this plan involve smoking. Finally, to summarise:

Week 6

a) Continue to keep your cigarettes in packs of 10
b) Continue giving up for one hour a day
c) Reduce your cigarettes by a factor that leaves you only a few for the last day.
d) Keep yourself busy when you finally do stop
e) Keep thinking about every cigarette you are smoking
f) Prepare yourself for quitting after the 7 or more days (you can reduce over a month if you wish)
I) Don’t slip into failure and success language
j) Never start chastising yourself, if you do, challenge the voice. Be kind to yourself. (You are on a journey or self-realisation)
k) If you begin smoking again after a few hours, days, weeks then remember to say ‘I have lasted for x amount of time and I can make it longer and longer. I have not failed I have only just begun!’

Good Luck!