Well done for getting here.
Ok, what happened keeping the cigarettes in your pocket? Did you find yourself taking another 1,2 or perhaps 3? Did you find yourself thinking I can never do this? I cannot quit? Then you have slipped into that language of failure and success. The point of all this is that you wanted to give up. Slipping into a language governed by thinking informed by previous attempts to stop smoking will make you feel guilty, and hopeless. You might also be telling yourself that perhaps you did not really want to quit. This is sometimes a way of dealing with feelings of inadequacy.

Stop! No kicking yourself for smoking a few, or the same amount of cigarettes as before and not being able to follow my suggestions. This will take you into the not quitting ever again or at least not for another year mode. Think about how the addiction holds you. Think about your craving and what the lack of cigarettes does. Think about yourself with kindness and don’t think about the addiction as self-inflicted. Try to separate yourself from the socially manipulative information out there about smokers.

Have you ever thought how addictive running anti-smoking campaigns might be? I can hear cries of ‘it’s not the same!’ The vociferous application of ones energies to a cause can give an individual a real sense of self. It can sometimes become the reason for being part of the cause rather than the cause itself. How many times have you read or heard about a radical having lost the real purpose behind a cause? Let’s just say, culturally, at this time smoking is frowned upon. But Opium dens were quite popular once upon a time.
Medical knowledge has shown us the harms of smoking, drinking, breathing and eating. How many people who have done this kind of research do you think were smokers? Simply because we are presented with a bunch of facts it does not necessarily follow that our attitudes towards something will change. And, perhaps more importantly, we cannot overlook the physical urge to smoke.

That physical urge to smoke can manifest itself in different ways when we try to stop. Some common ones are feeling hungry, being bad-tempered, and feeling sick. Then, when you smoke because you cannot stand the feeing quitting gives you, you can feel dizzy, but the symptoms of withdrawal have gone. How can you combat the desire to smoke with the desire to quit? The first thing to accept is that you are going to experience withdrawal symptoms.

What to do when you feel those symptoms is be busy. It does not matter what it is but be busy. Clean the house from top to bottom, repair the car, lift weights, go jogging, learn to cook, or start painting, but keep yourself occupied and use whatever else you can find that will help you get through it. And, always, always, mentally reinforce the reasons why you want to quit. If a stressful situation arises, which is the cause of many people starting to smoke again, think about how much stress quitting smoking has caused you. Never forget to remind yourself that quitting is something you want to do, and simply because you are smoking a cigarette right now does not change that fact. Don’t, whatever the media, Doctors, or campaigners tell you, start looking at yourself as a failure because this just strengthens your resolve not to continue trying to break the habit. How many times do you repeat ‘I can’t do it!’ This process has been about saying ‘Yes, I can do it, but my way and in my time!’

Now onto the final week (or more if needed).
You should still have your cigarettes in packs of 10. Now is the time to take approximately half what you smoke for 7 days and divide them over the next 7. Buy all the cigarettes you need for the 7 days if you can so you are no longer going to the store for them each day. If you cannot afford to do that then ask someone else (whom you trust not to be judgemental) to get them for you. Each day reduce the remaining cigarettes by a factor that leaves you with only a few on that final day. So, if you smoke 50 a day you will now have 30 for the first day, 25 for the second, 20 for the third, 15 for the fourth, 10 for the fifth, and 5 for the final day. On the last day when you smoke that last cigarette try to avoid saying to yourself ‘that’s it, you are my last one, I am never going to smoke again.’ Does that sound a little odd?

The reason behind trying to avoid this kind of language is to avoid the feeling of failure should you be driven to lighting another cigarette. Yes, reinforce the reasons why you want to quit but never reinforce the feelings of failure. As I said before come from the other side. For example, suppose you manage a day, or two days, or a week and for some reason you start smoking again. What will you tell yourself? All the messages of failure will return and you will tell yourself there is no point to trying again. This method for quitting is not perfect as no method is, but it offers you the chance to go through the procedure again and again until you reach your goal. You are able to tell yourself ‘Wow, I managed 10 hours, a day, a week, a month, I am getting there!’

Avoid that circular reasoning at all costs which might go something like this: ‘I am going to quit! I have followed the programme (whichever one you are following). I will stop on Monday. Oh, I don’t believe it, I have only lasted till Monday afternoon. I cannot quit what’s the point!’ Adapting some of the ideas I have presented here to your situation can help you get there without losing sight of your goal or kicking yourself. So what, you are smoking, keep going with the method. Don’t reply to that ‘it’s ok for you to say so what but I want to quit and I cant!’ If you do, you are reinforcing ideas of failure and all the guilt that can go with that expression. Move on for yourself, and at your own pace, because you have not failed anything. Guilt, by the way, can be felt towards ourselves.

You are trying to break an addiction and that is no easy thing to do, but you will get there eventually. If you want, you can take a chance now and tell everyone that you are going to stop smoking, BUT, tell them part of the plan is for them to keep their judgements to themselves as the stages of this plan involve smoking. Finally, to summarise:

Week 6

a) Continue to keep your cigarettes in packs of 10
b) Continue giving up for one hour a day
c) Reduce your cigarettes by a factor that leaves you only a few for the last day.
d) Keep yourself busy when you finally do stop
e) Keep thinking about every cigarette you are smoking
f) Prepare yourself for quitting after the 7 or more days (you can reduce over a month if you wish)
I) Don’t slip into failure and success language
j) Never start chastising yourself, if you do, challenge the voice. Be kind to yourself. (You are on a journey or self-realisation)
k) If you begin smoking again after a few hours, days, weeks then remember to say ‘I have lasted for x amount of time and I can make it longer and longer. I have not failed I have only just begun!’

Good Luck! 

Did you find yourself getting agitated throughout last week by the fact that in last weeks summary I slipped in h) Prepare yourself for quitting in week 5? It is important to assess your reaction. Was it as strong as in the beginning? Was it less? If it was less then great but if it was the same or more, think about why? It might be worth going to week 1 again because remember the week numbers are unimportant, just guides. You have not failed anything because the process is to help change your thinking and that is a continual process. Congratulate yourself for realising you need more time. Or, congratulate yourself for going on even if you do feel the same amount of anxiety.

What did your writing reveal about your smoking habits? Did you find that your stress levels were higher at the times you needed to smoke? Or, was it more about a nice, relaxing time? Are those times really stressful and what can you do to change them? When relaxing what about smoking a cigarette made it more relaxing other than just the habit? If you kept to the suggestion on halving your cigarettes that is fantastic and well done! If you smoked more than the amount you divided for the day then fantastic, well done. If you smoked the same amount as before and found it difficult then fantastic, well done for trying, and what can you do? Try this stage again without any word of failure because there is nothing to fail. You have not ruined the stages because they have no hard and fast rules. Think back to the climbing analogy and see yourself looking for a good, firm place for your foot before moving on.

How did it make you feel to see all those cigarettes in the container? Did you feel sickened and ashamed? Ok, but think about it in another way. If we were to collect the wrappers, bottles, boxes of anything we indulge in we would probably be shocked. Did you laugh at the amount and make jokes? The task of placing the cigarette ends in an open container was not to shame, disgust or make you feel guilty. Remember that we work from the other side, to make concrete the habit, and that is all it was for. Habits die hard and until we can really focus on them we cannot change them.

I am hoping by this time that you are really aware of your feelings about smoking, the times you smoke, and the anxiety you feel. All this knowledge about the habit is useful and empowering. I should also add that by using the term ‘habit’ there is no implication of weakness. We, human beings, all have habits that give our lives meaning. Some we are quite happy to keep and others we want to stop and many we are simply not aware of - until that helpful partner points them out. Now we move into our fifth stage and another difficult one. Oh, by the way, throw away the cigarette ends you have kept on display.

I would like you to pick a day in the next seven days when you will not smoke at all. Again, make it the easiest of your days and the most active. Focus on the fact you are giving up smoking while smoking. I want you to take a pack of cigarettes for that day and keep them in your pocket with your lighter. You might think I am being sadistic by asking you to keep the cigarettes with you but that’s not my purpose, and nor is it to test your will power. You may smoke one cigarette in the morning (as early as possible) and one in the evening (not the usual time). I want your concentration to be on the midday cigarette. Think about smoking a cigarette at lunchtime after your lunch. All morning after your first cigarette concentrate all your thoughts and feelings on that midday cigarette. Really think about it and how you will feel smoking it. What is happening to you? Do you really need a cigarette right now? Try to resist as long as you can but focus on that one cigarette and have it when you have to. What is going on in your body when you think of smoking? Are you really craving it or has it lessened?

There is no particular level you should be at now so don’t think that your craving should have lessened. ‘Shoulds’ take us into the language of success and failure. The only good one is why should I ’should.’ I must state again that everything we are doing is focusing on the habit and its control over us. When you have smoked the midday cigarette I want you to think about how it really felt to smoke it. Was it as rewarding as you thought it would be or was there more reward in the anticipation of that midday cigarette? Hopefully, you will,or have already discovered, the importance of our attitudes towards smoking. We can increase and decrease the desire mentally (evidenced by the midday cigarette). Unfortunately, the habit keeps us continually thinking about increasing the desire rather than the opposite, which is what we are trying to do here. I have not forgotten the physical side of addiction but that will be discussed in the final week, week 6.

Remember, there is one more week after this one. You are nearly ready to go and do what you want to do. Now it is time to think about no more cigarettes. It is time to really put into overdrive the benefits YOU have defined for giving up smoking. Forget all the shock tactic information out there about your health, appearance, etc. Think about your reasons and only your reasons for ending this addiction. So, to summarise:

Week 5

a) Continue giving up for 1 hour a day
b) Keep your cigarettes in packs of 10
c) Pick a day to give up smoking. Have 1 cigarette in the morning and 1 in the evening focusing you thoughts on the midday cigarette (which you can have).
d) Keep your cigarettes in your pocket with a lighter or matches.
e) Keep thinking about every cigarette you are smoking
f) Prepare yourself for quitting after week 6
I) Don’t slip into failure and success language
j) Never start chastising yourself, if you do, challenge the voice. Be kind to yourself. (You are on a journey or self-realisation)

I hope you feel ready for this one because we change tactic again. But what’s the first thing we do? Yes, congratulate yourself for getting this far. I do not mean this to be patronizing by telling you to congratulate yourself. There is a real purpose behind this act. Its purpose is to make concrete the process of giving up smoking. It serves to remind you that you and you alone have decided to do this and have got this far. You need to be continually aware of your journey to reinforce your desire to give up smoking (not so much of the destination).

How are you feeling now? Are you puzzled by what’s going on and where this is leading? Are you feeling that this is leading nowhere because you want to quit and you are still smoking? If you are feeling any of this then ask yourself why? You want to quit and as far as you can see you are not any closer but how are you judging your success rate? Old thinking creeps in at every stage as we are all used to getting results the moment we want them. In the West we live in a fast paced, consumer society, and expect fast results with almost everything we do. This way of thinking falls into the success and failure thinking again. Even if you say to yourself that you owe it to yourself to quit you put yourself into the success or failure thinking mode.

You might now be saying but why am I doing all this if it’s not to quit smoking. Yes, the idea is to quit smoking but the journey to that point is far more important. Think about going on a trip or holiday. You can get excited the moment you leave your house and get in your car, or taxi. Everything around you takes on a different meaning because you know that you are going somewhere nice. So, packing luggage, taking taxis, catching planes, all the preparation becomes part of the holiday. You can get frustrated, but you are engaged in preparation for that holiday, the journey to your destination is very important. Another analogy is one used by a friend who is a clinical psychologist. If you are climbing a mountain you know the summit is your goal. However, if you take your eyes of where you are on that mountain you will more than likely fall off. The steps you take here and now are moving closer to that goal but your efforts need to be applied to the journey. Now we come to a difficult stage.

For seven days I want you to collect every cigarette you smoke and keep them in an open container, perhaps on an old plate. They must be visible from every angle and place them somewhere like the living room. Now choose a day in the seven days - remembering not to choose a Sunday or a Monday - when you will not smoke at all. Make this day the easiest day for you and also the most active. I want you to take one third of the cigarettes you smoke in a day, half if you want to, and divide them over the day of non-smoking. Always keep in mind that if you smoke a few more than you divided up for the day that you have smoked less than usual and not failed anything. The next thing is to write down why it was important for you to divide up the cigarettes the way you did. For example, if you give yourself two for the morning, and two for the lunch, but only one for the afternoon why were those times more important to you? At the end of the day I would like you to think back about how you felt smoking the cigarettes at that time.

Did your anxiety level increase at the thought of having fewer cigarettes? Did your body react differently? Are you feeling the same about smoking or sickened by it? If you are feeling sickened by it then try to get out of that mode of thinking by thinking of your efforts now. I want to stress how important it is that you do NOT chastise yourself for your lack of will power or lack of anything else that you might have heard. You have smoked for years and now wish to stop, to free yourself from the grip of tobacco. Always come from the other side. It’s not about what you aren’t doing it’s about what you are doing. To summarise:

Week 4

a) Take one third (or half) your cigarettes for one day and divide them up over the day you are quitting. (Keep in your mind that this is a non-smoking day when you do this)
b) Keep all the cigarette ends for the seven days in an open container in your full view. (If others ask you about this tell them it is only for two weeks and to please be patient with you)
c) Make your day of non-smoking (smoking) an active one
d) Write down - for each time you have decided to smoke - why it was important to you.
e) At the end of the day think back on how you felt smoking the cigarettes at the times you did. (If you smoke more than the amount then remember to congratulate yourself for smoking less than usual)
f) Keep thinking about every cigarette you are smoking
g) Keep your cigarettes in packs of 10
g) Keep on quitting for 1 hour a day
h) Prepare yourself for quitting in week 5 (resist reading week 5 till you are ready)
i) Don’t slip into failure and success language
j) Never start chastising yourself, if you do, challenge the voice. Be kind to yourself. (You are on a journey of self-realisation)

Now we change tactic. You have managed the 1-hour each day and it’s not important how long it took to get there. Congratulate yourself for reaching this point and remember not to use any of the usual failure and success language. Please continue giving up smoking for 1-hour a day in the next stage. You can increase it to 90 minutes if you like or 2 hours. Whatever time you set please keep in mind that the time is only guide, and if you do not reach it, you increased your time.

I would like you to halve the amount of cigarettes you smoke by day. So if you smoke 20 a day now you have two packets of 10 (the reason for keeping the old packet in the first week). If I were to tell you that you were only going to smoke 10 (or whatever half the amount is for you) cigarettes for the day how does it make you feel, anxious? Is that anxiety at the same level as when I first asked you to remember it? Is it greater or less? Remember how you are feeling at this moment. If you are feeling like throwing in the towel keep your motivation going by visualising a new you. Take time to imagine yourself the way you would like to be. Take a cup of coffee and sit back with a cigarette smiling about who you will be.

Relief! I am not going to tell you to only smoke 10. I want you to smoke them all. However, I want you to smoke against your routine. How many do you usually smoke in your break, 1,2, 3? If it’s 1, I want you to smoke 2, if it’s 3 then smoke 4 and so on. The next time you smoke after this I want you to cut it by 1. So you are smoking more at some times and less at others, always alternate. If your pattern of smoking is regular throughout the day then make it irregular. For example, If you smoke on average 2 cigarettes each hour at roughly 30 minute intervals then smoke 1 in the first hour and 2 in the second and so on.

The whole point of these exercises is to make the habit conscious in your minds, to experience withdrawal, and to change behaviour. You may find when the time comes to reduce or stop that you may or may not need some other help to do that, but it should be easier following this method. Notice I did not say easy, only easier, but there is no failure.

Something else that is also important at this time is to buy your cigarettes at different times than you usually do. If you get them in the morning get them the night before and never keep to the same time each day, always change the time as much as possible. You also now have two packs or more of cigarettes. Keep it this way whether you smoke 30, 40, or 50 a day always keep them in packs of 10’s. Don’t forget to keep to the 1 hour daily alternating your stopping times. So, to summarise

Week 3
a) Smoke 1 cigarette more and then 1 less and then 1 more and so on. (If after dinner you have 1 then smoke 2 one after the other, and then miss one out later).
b) Keep the cigarettes in packets of 10’s
c) Keep thinking about every cigarette you are smoking
d) Don’t slip into failure and success language
e) Don’t forget to continue giving up for 1-hour a day.
f) Never start chastising yourself, if you do, challenge the voice. Be kind to yourself. (You are on a journey or self-realisation)